Winner of the 2026 RBB Thriver Grant!
Laura is currently pursuing training in personal therapy at a major Midwestern university. But she has not gotten there easily. Read her path to faith-based freedom below:
Laura’s Story
“I was married for over 10 years and had two children with my ex-husband. I thought he was a safe person because he did all the “right” things. He served at church and was a virgin. His parents were still married and he had a steady job.
This is important to know because I had always felt like I didn’t measure up, so I thought I was finally going down the right path and making God proud.
After we married I did not know I was in an abusive situation for many years, where he used faith to abuse me. But my health started to decline so badly that one day I could barely make it out of our cul-de-sac with my daughter in the baby stroller. I could no longer function the way I usually did.
One time he told me I needed to meet him at a very specific time. He changed the time and I remember I started badly shaking, afraid I was going to be late and he was going to be angry. It seemed a lightbulb went on. I realized something was very wrong if I was that scared.
When I told my husband how I felt, he said it wasn’t because of him but because of my own issues from having a narcissistic father growing up.
He was angry that I didn’t see a church counselor when I began seeing a therapist. At the first session, I disclosed that my relationship and experience of my husband could be summed up with three words: confusing, controlling, and passive aggressive. At the end of that session, she recommended I look up “covert narcissism.” It was like a veil had been lifted after that. I saw everything so clearly and realized how terrified I always was. I even wanted to die but held on because of my kids.”
He tried to take my children from me and ruined my name with everyone I knew in the church. He even slandered me to our son’s hairdresser, neighbors and others. My terror grew.
We had moved from California and the only people I knew were in our Baptist church. I lost all my friends but one during that time, and even he let my husband live with him when he left.
I had always been strong and outspoken so others could not believe I was being abused. Inside was a different story. Once he did a “Bible lesson” with our five-year-old-son, slamming the table and screaming at him because he didn’t remember what pronoun “wisdom” referred to in the Book of Proverbs. The terrified look on my son’s face told me I had to do something.
When I tried to leave, he pulled out a Bible and quoted the verse abut a wise woman building her home and an evil one tears it down. He actually tore it down way before I contacted an attorney. I had never had the Bible used at me like a weapon.
So many things happened but at the height of the divorce process he escalated his control and physically injured me. I called 911 and he was arrested for battery but it didn’t get any better after that. The psychological abuse intensified because he seemed even more determined to hurt me after that.
He only received a slap on the wrist and still gets partial custody of the kids. I am constantly on guard trying to prevent more emotional and spiritual damage to them while trying to heal myself.
What stood out to me in the workbook was Chapter Two: Dedication. I had made it very easy for a spiritually abusive person to spot me. While seeking a mate, I had posted “If Jesus isn’t your top priority, please don’t contact me.” I would never reveal that now. I hold my cards closer to my chest, watch and see who they are.
It was a hard lesson to learn that someone would use my faith and dedication against me because I would never do that to anyone.
I never in a million years imagined this nightmare would be my life. However unfortunately I am not alone. There are so many women in my same shoes.
I have been accepted to graduate school to get my Master’s to be a therapist. I majored in dance in undergraduate school so I plan to use some somatic therapies along with talk to help women release the trauma from their minds. The grant will help me pay for this training.”