Lighting the Mother Shadow

For some women Mother’s Day is not an easy day. Daughters of mothers who could not nurture them experience emotional fallout that casts a shadow over this day and indeed their lives.2015-03-06-16-13-26

Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes about the Stone Child, stories and myths of the unmothered child. As women, we experience “collapsing” and a wild hunger that leads us to doubt ourselves, have difficulty seeing ourselves accurately, engage in risky or impulsive behaviors, and an inability to maintain healthy boundaries. We miss training in honoring our intuition, consciousness and common sense. To recover, women must grow their own internal mother to warm their hearts through meditation, connecting with nature, bodywork, and support from other women. We must come to terms with our mother shadow, for she never leaves us. We cannot escape the effects and should not. Our mother effect is the source of our creative energy. Our emotions are our guide to our next level for spiritual development.

Recently a group of women in my workshop Continue reading “Lighting the Mother Shadow”

My New Un-Resolutions

I’ve been reviewing  3 basic tasks for spiritual development: honoring ourselves, discovering our expressions and sharing our expressions. Along that line, let’s revisit an idea of resolutions for the beginning of 2017.

Instead of twisting myself in knots out of a framework of faults, I wanted to set my path from a value-added mindset. So I began to think about what would enhance me this year. You may want to consider something similar for yourself.

I recently saw a post I thought was a good beginning. It recommended replacing every “I’m sorry” with “I appreciate.” Instead of “I’m sorry I was late” I can say “I appreciate your waiting.” “I’m sorry I can’t stay” with “I appreciate the time I’ve had with you.”

Another area I’d like to consider is limiting the inner critic. “To compare is to despair” is a Continue reading “My New Un-Resolutions”

Share Your Expression This Season

In the past two posts, we looked at the foundational necessity of Honoring Yourself in the pathway to spiritual growth. Without honoring our gift of embodied life, we are set at odds against ourselves, constantly battling our right to be and squandering the energy we have been so lavishly given by having a physical experience for our spiritual selves.

Likewise, the second step in our spiritual growth is to Discover our Expression. This is what we are uniquely suited to bring into the world. It provides a sense of satisfaction, a “rightness”, that assures us we are in the flow of our good and what we came here to do. It does not matter how small, how inexpensive, or how quiet our gifts may be, it they provide us with the “click” that signals the integration Continue reading “Share Your Expression This Season”

Discover Your Expression

rockIn the previous post, we explored the foundational practice of honoring yourself.
Without this in place, our efforts often become disappointing because we are acting from a place of not knowing ourselves or looking on the outside for what can only be found within.

Honoring self allows us to be equals, not subservient to others nor creating resentments through “self will run riot”, as the 12 Step program says.

Discovering Your Expression, then, grows out of paying attention to our intuition, nudges, dreams and life experiences. This attention comes from honoring ourselves.2015-03-06-16-13-26

Our dreams or deep desires are there, I believe, from our beginning. They are linked to what is ours to do in the world, what will provide us with maximum satisfaction.

Discounting our dreams is a way of dishonoring ourselves. Often as children our dreams are in our play patterns. As we mature, we recognize that this was a type of dream language. What we enjoyed was a symbol containing the seed of what would fulfill us. It is not uncommon to forget what gave us satisfaction as children. So we have to rediscover it.

It doesn’t take much looking to see the correlation between children’s toytrucks in the sand and construction heavy equipment activities. The root satisfaction of being able to move objects or land is innate. In fact, many discoveries have come while the mind was relaxed at play, or in dreams.

Discovering our expression usually involves an integration of ideas. All life emerges from an integration of elements, so it is not surprising that our expression will involve putting elements together that we may not have in the past. For example, music and therapy, or technology and healing.

Our expression will create a “click” feeling when we discover it. We will sense that something has “come together” and is right for us. Often all that is necessary to discover it is to observe, journal, talk, or study an interest or group of interests that will not leave us alone.willow-tree-woman

Emerging careers now involve combining fields: biotechnology, educational management, scientific illustration, genetic engineering, and so on. But your field may not exist yet. It may be up to you to invent it by discovering your expression.

Your expression might not be something as large as a career, however. Part of not honoring ourselves is comparing our gifts to those of others and feeling like they are not as important. Your expression may appear small or similiar to others, but that doesn’t matter. It is yours to express and you will feel happy doing it no matter how small it seems. Your painted rock is unique among all other painted rocks, and it is important that you paint it, because it expresses your soul’s work. Monetary value is not a factor in measuring the worth of your expression, but many have discovered abundance pursuing theirs. As the saying goes, love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.

You may not create the next “pet rock” fad, but that does not mean your expression is insignificant. You must express it because it is yours. It is a reciprocal act: expressing it enriches the world and you are enriched by doing it.

Anywhere there is a gap or an unmet need is a clue to something needing to emerge or be expressed.

When we identify it, we can be sure to pursue it because it is our unique gift, both to ourselves and others.

 

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How Did You Treat Yourself Today? Pt. 1

Recently I realized that there is a disconnect between me and how I treat myself.

Something as small as the vegetables in the garden. Veggies are good for me, they’re free, but I’m not eating them. I’m too busy doing stuff for others.

The apples from my tree are so abundant that even my resident posse of squirrels and rabbits can’t handle them all. Have I eaten one today? Nope.

This lack of attention to self has a long and honored history in my life. In fact, it  has been sort of a requirement in how I was raised.

And so I thought I would share with you a recent insight that I discovered during a welcomed moment of reflection. (No those aren’t real fish. They’re painted on the rock! Reflection showed me that too!)

img_0013There are only three

tasks we have to do in this life.

Yes only trois.     3     Continue reading “How Did You Treat Yourself Today? Pt. 1”

A Private Concentration Camp

October is Domestic Violence Prevention month.

Many say they are tired of hearing about it. Why doesn’t she just leave?

They don’t ask why he continues to be insane.

Why does he kick the woman carrying his child to the ground?

Why he hates someone who is devoted to his happiness?

Why he refuses to take responsibility for the smallest of his behaviors?

Why churches continue to look the other way?

Or worse, tell her it’s her God given duty to take it?   cross-and-islam

Unless someone has been there, they can’t understand.

It doesn’t start out this way.

Slowly and subtly the abuser begins to build, first, invisible mental and emotional bars around his partner.

Then eventually the bars become physical. They were already real.

And that is what those on the outside don’t understand. The bars are real, even though they can’t see them.

They are the same bars built in concentration camp tactics, cults, or any form of abuse. Continue reading “A Private Concentration Camp”

The “W” in Worry

There is a well- known Serenity Prayer by Friedrich Nietzsche and used in 12 step recovery programs that seeks to relieve us of our mental turmoil:

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

What is not quoted as often as some of the rest of the prayer:

“Accepting as God did this sinful world just as it is….”

Here is what we worry about. We are worried that the things we can’t change will be too detrimental, damaging or disastrous. We may trust in God but we are not sure we are rowing to shore fast enough to escape the storm. Usually the categories of what we worry about areworryW   what        W   when     W   where

We may worry about what is going to happen, when something is going to happen, or where it might happen.

But the two big Ws we usually worry about are Who and Why.

We worry about the Who  …Continue reading “The “W” in Worry”

Blogger Recognition Award

blogger-recog-award

Thanks to Paardje of SnailMail, Books and Vanities who nominated me this award! You can find Paardje at WordPress. Paardie is fun from Indonesia! Knitting and whatever else pops up. Paardje reached 1,000 followers last March and also received the Versatile Blogger Award.

https://ofsnailmailbooksandvanities.wordpress.com/

My blog actually got started some time ago but finally got more active when….guess what?….I started devoting time to it!  It’s a little like a buffet….a sampling of articles, stories, humor, poetry and whatever else strikes my fancy at the time.

I will ramble from Women’s Spirituality, Writing Services, Academic Success, AgingWell, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Recovery, Small and Home Business and whatever.

Your comments intrigue me so please submit lots! And follow too.

For new bloggers, I say find the ones you like, take what you want and leave the rest. By that I mean, there are all sorts of tips for blogging out there, from fast money at Blogging High to fun but no profit and in between. I was lucky that Paardje and a few others encourage me with their lighthearted approaches. Their formats are fun.

I keep checking out fellow swimmers in the stream,  because, well, it’s so rich out there. I hope you will visit some of these blogs as well:

BeautyBeyondBones   – recovery from anorexia but not what you might think – I nominate!

QWF Writes – fellow writer journeys

The Naked Networker – always a new twist on work

The Smiling Pilgrim – not syrupy in the least